The Story Behind The Man

Sound familiar?

You've already tried quitting.

The filter and the blocker. A mini-fridge in a house full of fridges.
The accountability partner. Worked until you got good at the Sunday answer.
The streak. Counting days, then losing count, then starting over ashamed.
The 2am promise. To God, to her, to yourself. Meant every word. Broke it anyway.
The therapist who never asked. About the porn, or about what happened when you were eleven.
The church group. Confess, repent, repeat. Nobody ever said "what is this for?"

None of that failed because you're weak. It failed because it was aimed at the door, and the problem is in the room.

The free resource

Five questions I wish someone had asked me at 25.

Not "how do you stop." What is this for. Take them slow, write by hand if you can. The PDF gives you room to answer and three short videos where I walk you through each one.

When did it start, and what was going on around you?

Most men I talk to were eleven or twelve, alone, on a device nobody was watching. That's not a coincidence.

What does it actually do for you?

Not why. What. If it did nothing for you, you'd have stopped years ago.

What were you feeling right before, the last three times?

Not the excuse. The feeling. Look for the pattern.

Who knows? All of it, not the cleaned-up version.

Most men write "nobody." That word is doing more damage than the habit is.

If it stopped tomorrow, what would you have to feel?

The one men skip. It's the story behind the man.

Get the five questions

Put in your email. I'll send the PDF and the videos.

Then one short note a day for a week, one question at a time. You can reply to any of them. I read every reply myself. Unsubscribe whenever, one click.

Austin Hamilton

Coach · Phoenix, Arizona

Why me

I watched porn for twenty years and hid it from everyone who loved me. Eventually it crossed into a physical affair, and on August 15th, 2017, I confessed all of it to my wife when she was eight months pregnant.

I know the shame from the inside. I also know what it took to get free, because it wasn't a better filter. It was finally looking at what the porn was for, with people who didn't flinch.

I've been clean nine-plus years. My marriage survived. Now I do this full time: coaching men one on one, running a men's group that has met weekly for years, and hosting hard conversations live in front of thousands of people. My faith is the ground I stand on, but I'm not here to preach at you.

Healing doesn't happen until it's witnessed. Porn is the door. What you're walking through it to get away from is the room.

Austin is a life coach and a Jay Stringer Unwanted Guide, Level 1 and 2 certified. He is currently in the Allender Center's Narrative Focused Trauma Care (NFTC) Level One training, expected completion summer 2027. He is not a therapist. He works alongside your therapist if you have one, and will tell you if he thinks you need one.

If you want more than the five questions

How this works, start to finish.

The five questions

Free. Answer them honestly and you've done more than most men do in years.

A free call

Thirty minutes, private, just you and me. We look at your answers together. No pitch unless you ask.

The men's group

Start with a small cohort of men working the story, then join the weekly group that's been meeting for years.

The deep dive

One on one. Three half-day sessions to walk your whole story, then four follow-ups to live it out. All on Zoom.

I don't hide what things cost. We talk about it plainly on the free call, and I'll tell you straight if I think something isn't right for you.

Book the free call

From men in the group

“Being part of this community has changed my life. It's not a porn-and-sex problem, it's a how-we-live-our-life problem. I strongly encourage anyone suffering to reach out.”

Group member · Men's group

“I told Austin he saved my wife and I's relationship. The porn was tearing us apart piece by piece. Now I'm 23 with a kid on the way, feeling amazing.”

Veteran, 23 · Men's group

If you're here because of him

You found out, and you're not crazy.

His porn or his affair broke something, and you're not insecure or too much. That's betrayal trauma, and there's a women's group for it, co-led with Katelyn, on the main Choosing New site.

For her

Straight answers

Is this therapy?

No. I'm a coach, not a therapist, and I'll say so plainly. What I do is help you understand your story and change how you live it. If you need clinical care, I'll tell you and point you to it.

Do I have to be religious?

No. My faith is where I stand, and it shows up in how I treat people. Everyone is welcome, and nobody gets preached at.

Who sees my answers?

Nobody. The PDF is yours. The emails come from me and I'm the only one who reads replies. If we get on a call, it's private, not on a livestream.

What does it cost?

The five questions and the call are free. The group and the one-on-one work cost money, and I'll tell you the numbers on the call, without games.

How long does it take?

Honestly, years to rewire, and the first few months are the hardest. Anyone promising you thirty days is selling something. What changes fast is the hiding.

Everyone tells you how to stop.